Top Five Reasons to KEEP ObamaCare — LOL
By a wide margin, Americans don’t want ObamaCare and never did. It is such a wretched piece of legislation that the government wouldn’t let us read it before it was passed. In fact, it is so bad that our jolly rulers exempted themselves from its requirements.
Most people are already pretty clear on why we should repeal it, but we spoke with an anonymous government official to get his candid views about why we should keep ObamaCare. His take:
1. You’re too stupid to take care of yourself
You’re so stupid, you can’t be trusted to provide for your own retirement, drink unpasteurized milk, educate your own children, or negotiate your own wages. In fact, you’re too dumb to get married without a license from the government. So of course we can’t be trusted to buy — or not buy — health insurance.
2. Health care is not expensive enough
Intensive regulation of the health care business adds tremendous cost and inconvenience, and reduces choices — but it’s not bad enough. We need to make it even more expensive by adding an enormous new bureaucracy that will skim and waste undefined billions.
3. The government isn’t yet bankrupt enough
The official debt is only $15 trillion. (The real, “unofficial” debt is actually over $200 trillion, but we can’t have you knowing that, or else you might make us tighten our belts, and we sure don’t want that, haha). Anyway, the way our political system is structured, we’re only sure about having until the next election to tear off as much as we can. ObamaCare represents a fabulous opportunity to do an unprecedented amount of plundering before we get out of government.
4. We don’t have enough socialism
The problem with liberty is that it makes our lives as your rulers basically meaningless. I mean, if we can’t control your life and take your money, what’s the point of getting into this business [of government]?
5. You’re not charitable enough, so we’re going to TAKE it from you
There are people who don’t have enough money to pay for medical care, and since we’re already taking so much from everyone in taxes, their charitable contributions are pretty limited. So you’re not giving enough. And since you’re not giving enough, we’re going to MAKE you give. Means we’re gonna take it from you. But hey, you’re used to it, so what’s the big deal?